Today is December 21, 2012. A day many predicted as THE END. It is also my birthday, also known a the Winter Solstice. While strolling through my Twitter feed this morning, Erin's Tweet landed me here .
"Solstice represents hope and regeneration. Out of the longest night, a new day is born. The deepest darkness gives birth to light".
and there it was, that one little paragraph, staring up at me from my iPhone. Those few words made all the difference in the world. The world that didn't end, the world in which I haven't really been living in this past year. As many of you dedicated followers (and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, really I do) know, this year I have been pretty much non existent in this little space of the Internet that, not too long ago, was my world. I let you all into every experience that that rocked me, both good and bad, and somehow, together, we made it work. Without going into detail, I'll just say that this past year has been the worst year of my life. It's killed my faith in humanity, it's made me question things I never thought to question before, it's killed something inside of me that I think it will take a long time to regain. What's worse is that it's killed my creativity. The camera that used to accompany me where ever I went, now sits on my dresser, covered in dust, begging to be picked up. The words that travel through my head every morning on my drive to work and every evening on my way home somehow get lost once I walk in the back door, and never make onto the page. Until today. It was calling to me from so many places today it was had deny. So as I look back on some of the brighter spots of this last year, I'm looking forward. I'm letting go, letting go of the past and those things that I let hold me down.
Being positive from this day on will, at times, be a struggle, but I will try. And being able to come here and talk it out has always helped in the past, so that IS what I will do. Many people celebrate NYE as an ending, and January 1st as a new beginning, but celebrating the Winter Solstice suits me better, I am a winter baby. As I look back, for one last time, I am reminded that if this horrible year had not happened there would be things that I would be missing, new friendships that have changed me, trips that never would have happened, laughs that never would have been shared. So I'll celebtrate the bright spots and take a deep breath and look forward to things getting a whole lot better. It starts with me, It can ONLY start with me. As we all know, thanks to the senseless killings in Newtown, life is too short to be wrapped up in the bad stuff. The bad stuff is far from over, but its up to me to take another look at my wabi sabi world, and embrace the imperfections in this thing call life.